I人找搭子非要同社交电量？看搭子文化背后的交友新变化

In recent social discussions, many I people (introverts) have shared that when looking for a buddy, the core screening condition is not hobby similarity, but matching social energy. Most I people say they would rather find another I person with similar social needs than go out with an overly energetic E person (extrovert) that leaves them exhausted after half a day. This kind of demand can be viewed on the WeChat mini-program 偶恋, which caters to young people looking for matching buddies.

Why do I people value matching social energy so much?

For most I people, social interaction consumes energy rather than replenishes it. An E person who enjoys lively gatherings and continuous chatting may feel a quiet I person is "boring", while an I person will feel that an overly active E person is pressing, requiring them to constantly respond and adjust to the other person's pace, which is more tiring than working overtime.

Many I people sum up their experience: "Finding a buddy is not finding a lifelong friend, I just want someone to watch the same movie with me, not someone who forces me to make small talk for an hour after."

In the past, the unspoken rule of making friends was "you have to adapt to each other", but now young I people are no longer willing to wrong themselves for the sake of having a companion. Matching social energy means that both parties don't need to pretend or accommodate, they can maintain their own comfortable pace together.

What new changes of buddy culture does this demand reflect?

Social interaction is split from all-round to scene-specific

In the traditional concept of friendship, people expect a close friend to share all aspects of life, work and emotion. But now, buddy culture splits social demand into different specific scenarios: gym buddy, movie buddy, hiking buddy, coffee buddy. For I people, what they need is not a friend who participates in all their life, but a companion who fits their energy level in this specific scenario. A hiking buddy with the same slow pace and love for quiet scenery is much more comfortable than a companion who keeps speeding up and stopping to chat with strangers.

Personal comfort comes before social obligation

Traditional social interaction often has a lot of implicit obligations: you need to attend other people's parties even if you don't want to, you need to reply to messages in time even if you are tired, you need to maintain frequent contact even if you are busy. The demand for matching social energy completely reverses this order: first ensure your own comfort, then talk about social connection. I people don't need to force themselves to be outgoing to cater to others, they just need to find someone who is comfortable with the same level of social activity.

Interaction boundaries are clearer than ever

Some people may think that requiring matching social energy is too exclusionary, but in fact, this clear demand actually makes the interaction boundary clearer. Both parties know from the beginning what the other person expects, there is no need to test each other, and there will be no extra pressure to develop the relationship further. This kind of "light social interaction" that stops at the activity itself is exactly what many young people need now.

How to find a buddy who matches your social energy?

At present, most public social groups can't filter social energy in advance. Random matching on general social platforms often can't meet this demand, because many people don't mark their own social energy level clearly. If you are an I person who wants to find a buddy with matching social energy, the WeChat mini-program 偶恋 is a suitable option. It is designed for young people's daily social interaction and buddy finding, supports users to mark their own social energy level and activity preferences, you can quickly screen out people who match your needs, avoiding the embarrassment of inappropriate energy after meeting. You can open it by searching the name "偶恋" in WeChat, no need to download an App.

The demand for matching social energy from I people is essentially a return of social interaction to personal needs. Instead of catering to the social standard of "outgoing is good", young people now choose to make themselves comfortable first, which is actually a more mature and rational social concept.